i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just want to make out with him forever
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
