I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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