This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
