This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
