Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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