i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I can't trust your balls anymore.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
