So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
