I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
FUCK WHALES
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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