I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize