I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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