Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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