i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
