He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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