Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
