would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
