I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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