just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
