$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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