stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
