I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
my sisters under your porch take her home
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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