I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
