He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
