i don't like sucking hair
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
