I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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