Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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