a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
