So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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