In the future we'll all be gay
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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