apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
