She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
