Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight

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(702): View more from Nevada

I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless

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(225): View more from Louisiana

Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min

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(+44): View more from England

So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get

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(480): View more from Arizona

Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.

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(518): View more from New York

my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks

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(224): View more from Illinois

I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.

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(303): View more from Colorado

conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex

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