I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
