Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
