Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
