gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
