its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
