Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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