Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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