their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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