we have officially lost it.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
