I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
