Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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