will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
