Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
