He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You have to summon your inner elephant
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
