I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
