the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Sponge bath it is.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
