well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize