He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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