just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
