Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
