lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
