Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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