Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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