conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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