He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
