just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
