and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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