what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
